I'm not perfect, entitled, or special.

The main thing that I have learned through failure is the importance of letting go of the ego. I recall the following statement, but I can't remember where I got it. It goes like this. A person says, "Why me?!, Why me?!, Why me?!" The answer is, "Why not you." I can relate failure to each my my careers; acting and teaching.

When I first got into acting around twenty years ago, I started off on a roll, no pun intended. I obtained a role in every play I auditioned for. It got to the point where I would just look at the list of the auditions, and simply pick and choose. One evening, I auditioned for the main role in an Agatha Christie play. I auditioned my butt off. I used a British accent, showed off every emotion one could possibly think of, and then shed a few tears for good measure. My friends who were also auditioning were blown away. They said that was the best work they had seen me do, and I was a shoo in for the part. Usually, I would get a phone call in a day or two offering me the role. The call never came. I was so conceited at the time, that I thought there must of been some type of error. Maybe the producer and director misread the contact number. I gave a ring, which was something I had never done, and was informed that the role went to another actor. I was shocked. It went to an actor who was a fellow student at the acting school I attended. I saw his audition and was bored to death. Yet, he correctly interpreted the character where I simply wanted to show off. It was an Agatha Christie character, and I treated it like a Stan Lee character. My ego was my true failure.

I began teaching in my early twenties. I was young and still full of ego. One day around fifteen years ago, I saw a student doing his math homework while I was teaching my English class. My attitude at the time was how could this person do this. Doesn't he know that he is missing out on me speaking, which is a wonderful opportunity. What in the world is this student doing?! I berated him, and he cried. After class, I apologized, and walked him to the counselor as he requested. The young man was devastated, and I was shocked and ashamed at what I had done. Later, the counselor informed me the student was having severe family issues, and not doing his homework was not helping those issues. I was the straw that broke the students back, or in this case, his spirit. I hurt someone's feelings because of my ego. All I had to do was simply ask him to place the math book away, and please focus on literature right now. Instead, I made a huge scene because of my ego. I'm ashamed of both of these moments of my life. I failed as an actor and a teacher. More importantly, I failed as a human being. On a more positive note, these failures are learning experiences.

I've learned that I'm not perfect, entitled, or special. I've learned this through failure and my martial arts training. Studying kung fu keeps me humble. It's great to see my fellow students and my teachers succeed and grow as better martial arts and human beings. Through hard work, I can become a better martial artist. It's a simple concept, but can be difficult to apply. Also, through hard work I can become a better actor, teacher, and more importantly, husband, father, and human being.