So now I'm working part time at the cave again. Adjusting to the new schedule is difficult. I had gotten into a rhythm with my 10 tigers stuff, and this silly job thing threw me off. What that means of course, is I have to adjust my rhythm. I once more have to find a way to make time and summon the energy to meet the requirements.
So here I am jumping back up into the saddle.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Car Fixing
If a car's brakes give out then you fix them, right? (Good gosh, I hope so. If not, you'll crash and bash your head, be in a coma for 3 months, be mentally messed up and have the neighbor dog chewing your leg off.) Good. And if the airconditioning goes bad, you'll have to fix that too and eventually you will have remade the car. Just like you say, eh, Eli???? (see blog below)
talking new
If its not in your nature to be a talker, a blogger, a mailer, or a tweeter, but you have to blog, talk, mail, and tweet, then why not try and change your nature and try to change your nature and become a talker, a blogger, a mailer, and tweeter. if you can do that you can change your self in small ways until your brand new.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Let the caution go
Today I had a success -- a little thing, but important and symbolic to me. In class, when Steven asked, "who wants to be thrown?" for the first time I didn't struggle with speaking up. I let my heart shout out. It's silly, in a way, because who wouldn't just speak right up if they wanted to be thrown? It's part of kung fu. But I know I hesitate, I wait, I don't want to seem too eager, and then I beat myself up for it later when I missed an opportunity to do something I really love. This time, though, I didn't hesitate more than a fraction to see if someone else wanted it more, I didn't let my fear of falling wrong stop me, and I didn't let my worries about looking foolish or failing get in my way.
Who wants to be thrown? I sure do! Why not say so?
Who wants to be thrown? I sure do! Why not say so?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Paths
Living in the moment, finding peace in stillness, keeping a clear mind -- how do all these good thoughts mesh with planning for the future? To choose a path, I need to see where it might go, yet the harder and farther I try to see, the hazier the horizon becomes. Then I get entangled in the struggle and can no longer see any path. This is one of my consistent challenges: finding a way to flow through multiple paths and possibilities when my tendency is to grab a machete and clear the way. I think my conscious mind gets in my way, but I do not yet trust enough to let go.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Milestones
I've reached a milestone today. Though I had to sacrifice Tuesday's class to get it done, I have sent Chapter 1 of my dissertation to my director for the first viewing. It needs work still, but it's a 33-page complete background history of my topic. I'm pretty pleased about that!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Lute
Having received the gift of a baroque lute, I may have found my new undertaking for the ten tigers program.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Just thinking...
Storm clouds gather as the forces of disturbance encircle me.
My enemies are a hundredfold and more, stamping out the dirge of contention as they advance.
Strife and conflict do battle with peace.
The harmony of my soul is troubled by discord and grief rides a mighty steed.
My courage and my strength are reminiscent of the wind.
The quiet of morning gives way to the evening breeze.
But lo, I am safe within the stronghold of my heart.
The mind keeps watch with vigor.
The walls of character repel the onslaught with great fortitude.
Guard well the gates of the spirit, for the mirror reflects all things.
My enemies are a hundredfold and more, stamping out the dirge of contention as they advance.
Strife and conflict do battle with peace.
The harmony of my soul is troubled by discord and grief rides a mighty steed.
My courage and my strength are reminiscent of the wind.
The quiet of morning gives way to the evening breeze.
But lo, I am safe within the stronghold of my heart.
The mind keeps watch with vigor.
The walls of character repel the onslaught with great fortitude.
Guard well the gates of the spirit, for the mirror reflects all things.
gardening
Small garden this year, but a garden nonetheless. It's hard to do without power equipment. As rewarding as it is for me to make recipes from scratch, it will be even more so when I grow the veggies too.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
A potential purpose for vacations
This one's for all of us contemplating some time off from everything ...
"Now and again, it is necessary to seclude yourself among deep mountains and hidden valleys to restore your link to the source of life. Breathe in and let yourself soar to the ends of the universe; breathe out and bring the cosmos back inside. Next, breathe up all fecundity and vibrancy of the earth. Finally, blend the breath of heaven and the breath of earth with your own, becoming the Breath of Life itself."
Art of Peace #9 http://www.jinshinkan.searaven.org/
"Now and again, it is necessary to seclude yourself among deep mountains and hidden valleys to restore your link to the source of life. Breathe in and let yourself soar to the ends of the universe; breathe out and bring the cosmos back inside. Next, breathe up all fecundity and vibrancy of the earth. Finally, blend the breath of heaven and the breath of earth with your own, becoming the Breath of Life itself."
Art of Peace #9 http://www.jinshinkan.searaven.org/
Monday, May 11, 2009
Lake
to get in our mileage we(that's me and Eli)decided to kayak on the flooded lake. It's 10.8 feet above the norm. And so we were in the creek well creek is not big enough...river that's it so any way we were up the creek with our paddles. When i got snagged on a bramble and I went over with no skirt and for you non kayaking types a skirt is something that covers the hole that you sit in so I'm in the water kicking and flailing and then...i could touch. And Eli comes back cuz he was in front and so i got on his kayak and we locamotived back half of the way back. By the way we had all of our dogs with us and to those who don't know it thats three dogs and two kids and we were dragging a swamped kayak i was kicking and Eli was paddling. So half way back we over balanced we went "splash" so i came up first and then Eli and we looked around two sec. later Roger! one of our dog's was still under the kayak!!! but before i could blink Eli had gotten roger out. He is never coming on water again but still we had two swamped kayaks and two kids of course we swim back to the docks.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
The Art of Peace
"The Art of Peace begins with you. Work on yourself and your appointed task in the Art of Peace. Everyone has a spirit that can be refined, a body that can be trained in some manner, a suitable path to follow. You are here for no other purpose than to realize your inner divinity and manifest your innate enlightenment. Foster peace in your own life and then apply the Art to all that you encounter." From The Art of Peace, by Morihei Ueshiba. http://www.jinshinkan.searaven.org/
This quote is the first one in this recommended text from a Tom Callos email. I thought it matched well with the acceptance theme from Dean's previous blog. Further, the martial art represented by Ueshiba is Aikido, which really interests me since it emphasizes flowing with your opponent rather than clashing. That's something Steven keeps trying to teach me ...
Thinking about reaching this long term goal of flowing, not fighting, reminds me of a couple of years ago (was it that long?) when I was trying to learn a roundhouse kick from Tammy in the adult MMA Tues/Thurs program. I would watch Tammy, listen, and try it. There was no snap, no power. I could hit harder with my fists than with my stronger legs. I was frustrated. Steven walked by, corrected a few things, and emphasized practice and patience. He said I'd feel the difference when I got it right, and then, though I might feel it once, it may be a while before it would happen again, and would be longer still before it would happen reliably. I have touched that difference several times since then and know that it comes from really deep within on a subconscious level. When I get my mind out of the way (which is too full of fears, tension, and even hope), then my body can do its work. I don't mind the wait now, and I'm building the patience with practice so that the difference may come more often.
This quote is the first one in this recommended text from a Tom Callos email. I thought it matched well with the acceptance theme from Dean's previous blog. Further, the martial art represented by Ueshiba is Aikido, which really interests me since it emphasizes flowing with your opponent rather than clashing. That's something Steven keeps trying to teach me ...
Thinking about reaching this long term goal of flowing, not fighting, reminds me of a couple of years ago (was it that long?) when I was trying to learn a roundhouse kick from Tammy in the adult MMA Tues/Thurs program. I would watch Tammy, listen, and try it. There was no snap, no power. I could hit harder with my fists than with my stronger legs. I was frustrated. Steven walked by, corrected a few things, and emphasized practice and patience. He said I'd feel the difference when I got it right, and then, though I might feel it once, it may be a while before it would happen again, and would be longer still before it would happen reliably. I have touched that difference several times since then and know that it comes from really deep within on a subconscious level. When I get my mind out of the way (which is too full of fears, tension, and even hope), then my body can do its work. I don't mind the wait now, and I'm building the patience with practice so that the difference may come more often.
Friday, May 8, 2009
61
I reached a goal.
60 pushups in sixty seconds.
Then one more for good measure before the clock ran out.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Acceptance Training
Steven, I wanted to say thanks for the talk we had about acceptance. I told you tonight at the kwoon how I did acceptance training while stuck in stooped interstate traffic. It was actually amazing that at the exact time I accepted the fact that I was not going to be on time for class and possibly not be there at all, my attitude, my mood, even my whole perspective of the situation changed.
I am really glad that I recalled our talk at that particular time. I was frustrated with the distance I had to travel, with the other drivers, with the whole situation. I finally accepted the fact that I would be extremely late at the least, there was nothing I could do about it, and that was that. Then I looked at myself. How many times have I said I wish I had more time for self reflection, to think, or even to think of nothing and watch the grass grow. Here I was, wasting a golden opportunity for the very things I wanted more time to do! From that point on, I had a smile on my face, I understood that the other drivers were stuck in the same situation as me, and the likely cause of the traffic jam that was merely a frustration to the hundreds of vehicles stuck in it was most likely a tragedy for someone else. When I considered the situation in that light, I was ashamed of myself for complaining in the first place.
I think acceptance is something I need to start training for on a daily basis. To make it a part of my workout and daily routine. Acceptance leads to good things. I can't recall a time when I spent such a long drive without the worries and hectic scheduling occupying most of my thoughts. I actually enjoyed the drive despite missing class! Thanks again for the lesson.
I am really glad that I recalled our talk at that particular time. I was frustrated with the distance I had to travel, with the other drivers, with the whole situation. I finally accepted the fact that I would be extremely late at the least, there was nothing I could do about it, and that was that. Then I looked at myself. How many times have I said I wish I had more time for self reflection, to think, or even to think of nothing and watch the grass grow. Here I was, wasting a golden opportunity for the very things I wanted more time to do! From that point on, I had a smile on my face, I understood that the other drivers were stuck in the same situation as me, and the likely cause of the traffic jam that was merely a frustration to the hundreds of vehicles stuck in it was most likely a tragedy for someone else. When I considered the situation in that light, I was ashamed of myself for complaining in the first place.
I think acceptance is something I need to start training for on a daily basis. To make it a part of my workout and daily routine. Acceptance leads to good things. I can't recall a time when I spent such a long drive without the worries and hectic scheduling occupying most of my thoughts. I actually enjoyed the drive despite missing class! Thanks again for the lesson.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
I'v Always Wanted To
I've always wanted to, maybe play an instrument or be computer programmer or an engineer. There are so many options. How are you supposed to choose one? It's almost impossible. I mean you could be any thing from a Martial arts master in Kentucky to a peanut roaster in LA, you know they do have those, the peanut roaster that is
What would you do?
There comes a time in each persons life where you ask your self, what would I do?
When you hear a story on the News and you ask your self what would I do?
Every time I hear that question the only answer I can come up with is, i don't know.
I have no idea what I am going to do, so I aim to take things in my stride so the question what would I do will not bother me. In my experience it works.
When you hear a story on the News and you ask your self what would I do?
Every time I hear that question the only answer I can come up with is, i don't know.
I have no idea what I am going to do, so I aim to take things in my stride so the question what would I do will not bother me. In my experience it works.
Almost there
I know you guys can relate, I'm ready for a break in the action. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. One thing after another after another. I think a pause is on the horizon though. I'm hanging in there, doing as much of my requirements as I can and just keeping my head above water.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Heart
I read something the other day that is sticking with me.
"Listen to what your intuition is telling you. If you listen to your mind, it's going to say the same old stuff as it has all along. Listen to your heart instead."
"Listen to what your intuition is telling you. If you listen to your mind, it's going to say the same old stuff as it has all along. Listen to your heart instead."
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Dreams
“The only dreams that come true are the ones that change every day.” This mantra I have lived by for two decades is still full of meaning for me. I was thinking about dreams lately, what they're made of, how we create them, pursue them, and sometimes get defeated by them . . . The only thing worse, I think, than failing to reach a dream is not having one in the first place.
What if, upon birth, everyone was assigned a dream? A fixed goal that you either achieved or didn't. If it didn't suit you, or if life didn't provide the tools you'd need to reach it, too bad. Perhaps the most wonderful thing about dreams is their flexibility. Because we create them, we can change them. We don't remain the same, we grow and change, see new horizons, identify new walls that need climbing . . . so should our dreams change as well.
It's taken me most of my life thus far to get on a path where I am comfortable with the progress of dreams, where I can see some as achieved and others as in progress. Most wonderful of all, though, is that there are always more to come, some I'm sure I can't even imagine. Who could have guessed that in my forties I would fall in love with martial arts? When we are open to possibilities, all things become possible.
What if, upon birth, everyone was assigned a dream? A fixed goal that you either achieved or didn't. If it didn't suit you, or if life didn't provide the tools you'd need to reach it, too bad. Perhaps the most wonderful thing about dreams is their flexibility. Because we create them, we can change them. We don't remain the same, we grow and change, see new horizons, identify new walls that need climbing . . . so should our dreams change as well.
It's taken me most of my life thus far to get on a path where I am comfortable with the progress of dreams, where I can see some as achieved and others as in progress. Most wonderful of all, though, is that there are always more to come, some I'm sure I can't even imagine. Who could have guessed that in my forties I would fall in love with martial arts? When we are open to possibilities, all things become possible.
Friday, May 1, 2009
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