Strengths are harder to claim than weaknesses!

My main strength as a martial artist is my love of the art. It took me by surprise, and that love is what is carrying me through the unlikeliness of ever becoming a martial artist. Though I still can't quite believe I will ever be good at it, I enjoy every little thing about it, and revel in the details. I can apply hung gar stances to moving ice-encrusted tree limbs, use gung gee as an emotionally-stabilizing response to stress, and find epiphanies in sparring.

My weakness, however, is that doubt that I see written in my strength statement above – I hesitate to believe in myself and that sometimes keeps me from doing my best. At the lion dance seminar, I heard myself convincing myself (odd as that sounds) that I could not remember the steps when it was my turn in the lion. Sure enough, that's what happened!

I can see myself a little more clearly when I think of the persona of martial artist. That's so new to me that it's easier to identify strengths and weaknesses. Evaluating strengths as a member of my family is much harder. Perhaps it comes down to love, again? Certainly the power of my love at the birth of each of my children took me by surprise – and continues to still today. My main strength within my family might be that they can always count on me to love them each day, and to act on that love consistently.

My weakness is that sometimes I steamroll right over those I love and try to arrange the world for them, forgetting that each person must make their own way and claim their world for themselves. I can't bear to see any member of my family disappointed, and so I do anything I can think of to avoid letting it happen.

As a part of my community, my main strength is that same ability to steamroll and make things happen when necessary. I can get a lot of things done when they are left in my hands. However, I know very well my weakness is that I do not play nice with others. I do not tend to function well within a community, but rather as an individual. When I can think of my community in terms of individuals, or serve my community by helping individuals, I do much better.

This was hard to write, and made me uncomfortable -- which is how I know it's helped me a grow a bit more tonight. A little like performance. Little by little, like improving a form, I'm learning to move toward those things that make me flinch.