I used to think that life would slow down, and that -- finally, then -- I could go about doing the things that mattered to me. Only it never slows down. It's taken me decades to realize that this headlong pace is simply a factor of a full, rich life. So the things that matter have to be fit into that headlong pace.
The Ten Tigers' daily requirements have taught me that each day I must give some space to myself, not just when it's convenient. When I signed the contract to complete the annual tasks, it was a contract with more than myself. I found out that, while I may be willing to cheat myself in weak moments, the group support kept me from it. Using that support as a crutch made it easier to get into a routine of taking care of myself each day so that it has become a habit. Nearly automatically now, I plan my day or review it to see where I need to pay attention and divert some of the outside traffic away from my own tasks of self-maintenance. I say "nearly automatically" because I think one year out of 46 isn't quite enough to overcome the previous habits, but it's a start, it's definitely a start.
Without Ten Tigers, I would not have recognized the many, many gaps in my self-care and self-development. Other things in life schedule themselves: bills come each month and if I don't take care of them, things stop working (like electricity or cell phones); jobs get done because a boss of some sort decrees when I must be there; housework gets done when there's nothing left to wear in the mornings.
But self-care? When does that get done? Why wait until an emotional breakdown looms, or a good relationship falls apart, or a wall is faced that cannot be scaled? The time-out it takes to complete 10 minutes of stances per day, 3 forms, 100 push/situps, 1 mile of travel, and so forth, creates the space to think, to review, to experience. When I find, for instance, that I cannot take the time to complete a form, then I have left off contact with myself for too long. When I resent the time any of these tasks take, then I have let the headlong pace of everyday life mow me down ... again.
Now I know how to stop, take notice of myself and my condition, and take care. Each day.
That is what Ten Tigers has done for me.
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