Where is the line between confidence and hubris? When does faking it become a path to making it real? Why is a swagger negative, and a strong stride positive? Where do the differences come from?
I've been thinking about RAoK and intentionality, wondering if the main ingredient to RAoK is intention ... But I don't think so. If I complete an RAoK just to check a box off each day, that's closer to a swagger than taking a strong stride -- closer to faking it. But remembering each day that such acts are important is starting to make it real. Assuming that something I consider a kind act is seen similarly by someone else is some kind of hubris --- but persevering into an understanding of RAoK that includes others' viewpoints may be confidence that the concept is valuable enough to work on.
Fine lines -- razor edges -- thin paths. The main ingredient to RAoK, today, for me, may be awareness.
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I have seen complete jerks, who for one reason or another, due to one program or another, had to do acts of kindness. At first each nice thing done was obviously a fulfillment of a commitment, but over time they became more natural, and became more real.
ReplyDeleteSomething else I just noticed is that after wondering if the main ingredient is intention, you went on to describe intentions that would disqualify an act as an act of kindness. I believe, and feel free to believe differently that you agree with me on the concept of intent, but just have different words to describe it.
ReplyDeleteIntention – I think that I'm trying to frame intention in a way to challenge it, alone, as being enough to qualify as a RAoK. There's another force, another shift, that needs to occur in the person doing the RAoK before it really becomes one. Not that an act of kindness can't be entirely accidental, even. It can. But purposeful ones – those done with an impetus of some sort – may come with another required level. Maybe intention is the first step – the first nugget of transformation, such as with the jerks in your example. They start with faking it, and it becomes real. What has changed? What transition occurred? Wordsmithing is a lifelong occupation, and we could spend much time dissecting the meaning of the word “intention.” We might agree, however, that intention is not the end, but can be the beginning.
ReplyDeleteIf I create a good dinner for my family, and buy steaks when we can't afford them, that's no kind act.
If I take a gift of chocolate to a shut-in, but haven't take the time to figure out the person is diabetic, that's no kind act.
If I stop to pick up a hitchhiker and, by doing so, endanger my family, that's no kind act.
All these have intention in common, but lack a broader awareness. For this group, somewhat well versed already in RAoK, I suggest that there are levels of awareness we might be moving through.
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” Ursula K. Le Guin
Very well said.m
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