Whoa!!

Whoa! i woke up this morning and realized. I'm behind on stances!!!

No wonder i had nightmares.

Patience

I have been finding myself short on patience.

Not unable to find patience with others, but patience with myself.

I've been feeling rushed, and when I stop to sit still, in need of stimulation.

I'm working through it, remembering to breathe, trying to slow down.

It isn't easy, but I've learned to be patient with myself, I've learned that little things over long time periods yield big results.

whooooohooooo, i have complete all my sparring!!!
with a lot to spare.

Similarities

Because I teach writing and usually leave the topic choices wide open for my students, I end up reading lots of odd material. An evening of grading papers has me wading through arguments about advertising, child care, drinking age, deaf ear implants, etc. (You'd think that would give me lots to think about, but usually I get numb.)

But I ran across a paragraph in an article on gene selection that struck me. So, I logged onto Google to share:

• Our major competitors for just about everything in life are
  other people, so we are fine-tuned by evolution to be highly
  sensitive to the minute differences among us. All people might
  look pretty much the same to a space alien or a mosquito - or
  an evolutionary biologist - but not to a coach trying to build a
  winning sports team or to someone looking for a mate.

Meanings can run many ways and, of course, this is taken out of context in some respects, but I thought about how closely we examine ourselves in martial arts, how narrowly we watch our sparring partners, and how, though we are NOT competing against others, we use them to reflect off of anyway.

Art of Peace #34

Foster and polish
The warrior spirit
While serving in the world;
Illuminate the path
According to your inner light.

Tom Callos posted this to his UBBT guys.

A MESSAGE FROM COACH TOM TO MEMBERS OF THE UBBT 6

SATURDAY, JUNE 20, 2009 AT 11:13AM

(Note to the general public / non-ubbt readers of this journal): The UBBT's journals have brought a kind of "transparency" to the testing process --you get to see, in part, just how real black belts apply themselves to their test -and their lives ---to see the cognizance they can muster, to see how they deal with the hardships, with the ideas (and/or you can see just how someone who says "I will stand up as an example of "the ultimate black belt" --does not follow thru....like, I would guess, so many people who start the martial arts but don't continue).

Through the journals you get to see just how smart and creative and resourceful these black belt teachers are --or are not. What do they think about? How do they view their "test." How do they deal with failure? What are they reading and watching? What are they doing for others? Who inspires them?

In the UBBT 6, as in a few of the past tests, we have a number of our team who are failing to show up, here, in the most important part of this process --in the only part of the UBBT we can all observe. In the following letter, I reach out to non-participating master teachers --to remind them of why they are here and the importance of doing as they want their students to do.

Coach Tom

-----------

To Team 6:

We seek to honor our teachers, our interests, our life's work, the martial arts
and --maybe, even "life" --------by honoring the way we apply ourselves to our
martial arts journey, our "black belt test."

If not to this, then to what? Oh yes, of course, our families! Those are equally,
if not far more, important.

But let's say we honor our loved ones by acting with honor as martial arts
"people." Let's say that the UBBT is about asking more of ourselves in areas
where we have not asked enough of ourselves in the past.

And let's say we do this all, for ourselves -and our families, and at the same
time lead 1000 + other people (and most likely, a LOT more) to a NEW
way to use their martial arts to teach, to make change, and to engage the
world?

Please re-look at your journey and your commitment to this little project of
ours. From a big-picture perspective, this year's going to come and go....it's
going to slip by and hardly be remembered. I'd like to suggest that you
not only start treating the here and now with more awareness --but use these
soon to be forgotten moments / days to make a statement.

By not journaling after committing yourself to the project weakens the power
we have, it weakens what you can say about being a black belt, it weakens our ability to
say, "THIS, is being a martial artist and a black belt" ----because "this" becomes
our failure to be here -now.

We stand a chance to be very powerful, a very positive influence on a LOT of people and
maybe even an entire "industry" and/or "the martial arts world." Because of our/your
influence we are making acts of kindness a force in people's lives, via martial art
instruction. Add to that diabetes education, more dialog about peace, anger control as
a part of martial arts training....

We are promoting business honesty, transparency, and sustainable method of
business management.

We are bringing a much more aggressive form of community activism and humanitarianism
to hundreds -and maybe 1000's of schools. All because of our journaling --the journal entries
about how you're putting these ideas to work and what you're learning from it.

You are, believe it our not, leading an "intellectual" revolution in our little "world." I've worked all
my life to be here, right here and now, and this is my world-champion try out. Fortunately (or
unfortunately) I am dependent on all of you to help bring the soul, the sensibility, the wisdom, and
the heart to the "business" of teaching the martial arts -----that I think it should have.

In fact, I don't think I can make a difference without your help.

So here I am, asking you to simply turn on your computer and talk to the world about
what it is to be a life-long practitioner of the martial arts. To talk about you "ultimate" vision
of your life and how you're pursuing it.

Please team, look at what you're doing --and do your best.

Tom

Getting Ahead/Behind

Tammy pointed out to me how acutely aware I become when I get behind on my ten tigers work commitment, whereas I barely notice getting ahead. It has set me thinking about how we more quickly recognize our failures than our successes.

Part of this program is a year long log of our successes.

So far this year, I have done 15,616 push ups and situps, I've spent close to 5 hours in stance training, I've spent over 10 hours sparring, and I've done at least 245 acts of kindness.

Something to think about ain't it?

Crossroads

I've been thinking about mental changes (and perhaps physical too) that take place in the crucial juncture of blue/purple belts, when so many leave/reject the discipline of kung fu. Having just reached purple myself, I'm curious, a little afraid, and a lot worried about my own progress. Thinking about it more broadly might help.

I've begun seeing so many flaws in my own work that it's depressing. I know more than I did, but feel like I should be more capable than I appear to be. Not that I haven't had wonderful achievements – the kind that changed how I thought about myself – but as a result I begin to see more fully how difficult sustaining achievement is.

People who reach this stage might evolve several strategies. One is to end the struggle. It's too hard, it's too long, it takes too much time, I can't do it right, etc. Those moments of achievement were enough. That path offers a way out, a way to be satisfied with how things are. I can understand the choice to apply so much energy in some other direction (or no direction at all).

Another tactic could be to plod determinedly on, patiently, same-same, adding one more move, forgetting others, until, by sheer weight of numbers, the black belt testing time is reached. That test, then, can become an end, a release to the work and repetition. There, one can say, I've reached my goal. Quitting might not even be a conscious intention of reaching the test, but it is a viable point where one could exit with dignity, having gained a significant achievement. I could see wanting to carry that feeling along whatever other road I traveled, without expending more effort.

A third strategy could be to see the struggle as part of the continuing challenge. The feelings of fear, worry, inability are integral to a state of constant learning -- one more of many steps -- and the end is not a subject of contemplation. A flaw in performance provides direction for what to work on next. A forgotten form is an opportunity, not a failure. Fear is a signifier of awareness, not a weakness. Arriving at the black belt test could be, then, a marker of achievement, an opportunity to acknowledge and celebrate dedication to the path itself, and an attempt to walk with those who travel similarly.

The mid-upper range belts are crossroads, and not the only ones that will come and go. Change is hard, choices are unclear, and daily habit becomes more difficult to overcome than fear. The paths sometimes seem to all be uphill, comprised of too many steps. I get tired. I get dispirited. I get discouraged. And then I get afraid. When I am already defeated in mind, it doesn't take much to let my body follow. I can defeat myself without even getting out of my chair!

I read a short article the other day that emphasized how finding the right teachers was important, but the student still had to do the work, find the drive, push themselves. No one can do that for us. Perhaps this crossroads that people reach in kung fu is where they have to contemplate real change, not just temporary, or for fun. I've realized that my slow kicks aren't going to improve during classtime (though I have been shown the way to change them more than once). I see that my sparring competence is marred by my emotional incompetence, but to deal with that takes more than pretension. I've found that my understanding of the purpose of moves continues to be shaky and incomplete (seemingly regardless of how many times I see the application), and to internalize the information is going to take another level of awareness. I feel like I need a whole other gear in my mechanism, and I don't know if I have the strength to add it when I can barely keep everything running as it is.

The crossroads. Turn back? Turn left? Turn right? Or change for real.

Mileage

It looks like I will be making up my miles and finishing that part of ten tigers. Bicycling does not seem to hurt my hip.

I know it doesn't have anything to do with kung fu but I made a 87.5% on my math final! That is much better than I expected. Algebra is the only class in my 2 year degree so far that I averaged less than 97%. I am so happy with myself! I just wanted to share this with all my friends!!! Only 2 classes to go!

Still pushing

I've reached a new personal best on 60 second pushups   81.

Going for 100, then maybe 120.

As Dean said i'm sorry, we've been sort of out of touch with the kung fu society, i am going to blog more. That. Is. all. ZzZzZzZzZzZzZ.

Apologies...

I feel the need to apologize for my lack of posts. My current algebra class has been very demanding of my time. Another horrible headache as well as 2 Capstone assignments has kept me from making it to class tonight. Believe me, I would much rather be working on Fu Hok. My throbbing eyeballs are telling me to cut this short. I hope to see you all on Thursday. Take care of yourselves and wish me luck on my finals this week.

What else is it?

I was reading one of my ubiquitous and often rather silly fantasy books a week or so ago, and one of the repeated themes in it was to look at things in different ways -- anything, all things. Something appears to be one thing, and it is, but what else is it? A book, for instance, can be a book, a story, a bit of wisdom, a paperweight, a chock, an experience, a flower press.... The point is to train our vision to see things in multiplicities rather than singularities. The more ways you can see a thing, a person, a situation, then the more ways we have of dealing with it.

Steven's recent post reminded me of this topic, since he was relating the way learning about bonsai has made him see trees differently, caused him to notice ways they grow. A tree is many things as well: a plant, a resource, firewood and warmth, housing for wildlife, food for bugs ... and art. A bonsai tree can be a source of meditation, a representation of wisdom and patience.

Martial arts can be a simple exercise. What else?

Banzai!!! I mean Bon Sai!!!

I am in the beginning stages of learning to grow bon sai trees.  It's fun, it's new, and I'm already learning lessons from it.

Growing a bonsai tree is a long term hobby.  It requires patience and willingness to enjoy delayed gratifi-

cation.

There is work to be done shaping a bonsai.  I sat down for about an hour deciding how to shape my tree, then spent about an hour wiring it.  The next step is to wait several months.

Once I started a bonsai, this small scale tree caused me to start noticing the way trees grow in nature.  It caused me to think about the forces that led a tree to be shaped the way it is.  It caused me to observe trees and think.

Once I started one bonsai, I started looking for more trees to work with.

Martial arts training is a long term hobby too.  There is work to be done.  One must do the work then wait months to really see the results.  Learning about how the body moves in martial arts teaches more about how bodies move everyday.  Once you learn one thing in martial arts, the desire to learn more grows.

Students

I love teaching, and I love my students. There's always something new to consider that comes from them. A freshman student of mine just posted her favorite quote:

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye. . . . It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."
– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. - The Little Prince.

It's been years since I've read that text, and I forgot it was a "book of wisdom" in its own right. I think I'll pick it up again. I have failed to "waste" time lately for my particular rose (martial arts), and to listen to my heart, because my mind is shouting at me so loudly to get things done!