Why I joined Ten Tigers ... again

Ten Tigers is for me because it encourages me to train beyond the lessons offered in class, and offers an extra helping of comraderie with others who also chose to go beyond. Once I discovered the depth of on-the-floor friendships, and the surprisingly complex emotional travels (or do I mean travails?) that can come wrapped in kung fu clothing, I recognized that what we do in kung fu is very personal and not easily shared off the floor. Except with others who are also off the floor. The fun we have had as Ten Tigers, and the fun we will have, is partly a result of the shared ... travails. As Dean (TT Year 1) once said, very earnestly, to one of my (many) sisters-in-law: “You'd think it's just about fighting, but that's not what it's about at all.” Yet for onlookers, that's exactly what it seems to be ... and attempts to articulate what else it is often fall short.

Ten Tigers makes me want to push at the boundaries of my life, my abilities, and my dedication to myself. Not just push – because it's easy to live a life where boundaries never move no matter how much one pushes – but Ten Tigers helps me to dismantle the boundaries day by day (which is, in the end, the only way). The day-by-day progress toward larger goals encourages me to think about other goals not on the list and to recognize that, if I want to reach them, I have to take steps toward them each day. Wishing, hoping for things to happen or change ... it's like Sifu Steven's blog on finding time. If I don't proactively set specific goals, the thing (whatever it is) doesn't happen and often fades until the opportunity is lost.

Since being a Ten Tiger, Year One, I am a better person or, perhaps more accurately, I am better at being the person I am. I am stronger (physically, sure, but also mentally and emotionally) and I am living life more fully than I was.

But, finally, I signed up for Ten Tigers again because the pattern of self-care is not yet ingrained. The month off between this year and the last one showed me that I can, indeed, return to old habits and begin to fragment. This year, I want to work on creating/enhancing my own pattern, my own way of incorporating Ten Tigers thoughts and actions in my everyday life in a way that will stay in my bones. I very much admire Chris's posting where he explains how he came to the conclusion that Ten Tigers is what he needs and that neither time nor money rank in comparison to something that's needed. I am also a parent, and have had to learn (no, I'm still learning) that when I don't make space for myself, I am shortchanging everyone.

I look forward to enjoying life with each of you, along the way. The way of the tigers.